So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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