I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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