Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
