she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I want a musical about memes.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
