I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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