Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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