Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
