AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
