just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
