I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
