i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
