so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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