you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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