I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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