Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
