Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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