I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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