we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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