margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
