Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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