It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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