Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
