she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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