Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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(805): View more from California

Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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(+49): View more from Germany

In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?

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(650): View more from California

He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups

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(937): View more from Ohio

so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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(720): View more from Colorado

There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.

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