My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
