Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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