your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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