the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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