I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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