I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
