Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
