When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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