do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
