am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
