Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
