I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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