Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

You hurt me so bad and it feels so good

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(818): View more from California

The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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(626): View more from California

We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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(804): View more from Virginia

i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral

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(513): View more from Ohio

As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

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(315): View more from New York

So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...

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(586): View more from Michigan

All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday

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