Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
