He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
