Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
