Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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