i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
