Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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