Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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