you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
