i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
