its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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