This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wear drunk well.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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