Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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