Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize