A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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