I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
