last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
