she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
