FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
