alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A+ Viking dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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