if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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