I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
