Where is the hickey?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
