yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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