I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
