We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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